=(

saying bye is hard to do.

as i make my way to different friends' houses, i keep telling them and myself that i will see them once again in my last week before i leave for Cotonou. maybe it's some kind of defence mechanism so that i won't start bawling. but i am gonna have to face the truth very soon. i will have to start saying my final goodbyes. and that may be one of the top three hardest things i have had to do since leaving home once upon a time in 2008.

this afternoon, one of my very first friends in Lokossa stopped by to say thank you for all that i have done, for putting up with a different culture for two years, to say sorry and to excuse the actions of his fellow countrymen, etc, etc. it was all very sweet and very touching. i started crying. and i think i made him uncomfortable, hahaha, but i said excuse me and i think he got it. but i really couldn't help the tears. it got me thinking about how in this last week in Lokossa, i might be hearing a lot of these sweet words. and i am getting choked up just thinking about it.

it's amazing to me how much i have come to love benin. i knew that it was going to be tough leaving. but i don't think i knew just how difficult it was going to be until now.

my heart is slowly breaking into a million little pieces. but maybe that is a good thing because i am leaving them here with the people i have grown to love.