this is from 1/12/10

I can’t get enough of the kids at the Orpheneliat Providence. Our world map project took about months to do from start to finish. In that time I really got to know a good chunk of the older kids. I probably have mentioned Janvier before, but he was a HUGE help with the project. I can see him being some kind of great artist or something with the way he really just clung to the map and was there helping every step of the way. A lot of the kids just wanted to help out with the fun stuff, read, the painting.

I was going to miss working with the kids every weekend, so I decided to take on another project with them. I have decided to teach a portion of the kids how to use a computer. Last summer there was a volunteer girl who did some lessons with them. I am not sure how much they covered nor how many hours the kids logged. But I feel like I can use their previous experience to dive right in.

These computer lessons will be quite an interesting experience. Last year at Camp GLOW 99.9 percent of the girls had never touched a mouse before. And Kaili, another PCV, held a mini informatique (aka computer class) during one of our sessions. I think the girls had an hour or so overall. But it was real fun watching them struggle working with the mouse ie holding it up in the air, and pecking at the keyboards like chickens.

I went ahead and purchased 55 hours at the cyber. They art having a New Year’s sale and by purchasing 50 hours at 9000cfa, five hours are added free of charge. This comes out to be a total of 163.63cfa per hour. Previously the cheapest I had found was something like 20 hours for 3500…meaning it was 175cfa per hour. So I guess I got lucky! I talked to the lady who works there and told her how I am going to teach kids how to use the computer and that I wanted to split my 55 hours among two accounts. She looked at me real hesitantly for a moment and I realized that normally one can’t do that, but I guess I am charming or persuasive or just a plain old good client cause she allowed me to divide the hours up afterall. And just now I was thinking about how in teaching the kids how to use computers/the Internet I am making that many more clients. On top of all that, the cyber people are unlocking my account so that I can teach the kids in the “VIP” room where there are less computers, less noise, and a ceiling fan directly above!

I’m not sure exactly when we’ll start. I currently have a lot on my plate. But soon enough…

Today at the English department weekly meeting, I was informed that my homologue, Mme TOKOU will not be coming back to teach at CEG3 Lokossa. I feel for the kids who will be affected. I guess they won’t be taking the devoirs that are coming up at the end of the month. Her kids have essentially already fallen behind my students and it wouldn’t be fair. So I am composing the test for my 6eme kids. In addition, by some miracle, the other 5eme teachers are slightly ahead of me and to avoid complications I proposed that I could write the devoir for the 5eme kids as well. Writing the tests is really not that much work, but it is somewhat obnoxious. However, I would rather write AND type the tests myself in order to steer clear of and weirdly phrased items and typos. Today is Tuesday and we supposedly need to turn in the tests tomorrow. However, I told my colleagues that they would see the tests on Thursday morning. And then I will take them to the bureau this weekend to type them up and print them off.

I will be going to Cotonou this weekend to send off my good friend, Catherine. I am sad that Cat is leaving, but in the end I think she made the decision that is best for her. And it has made me contemplate about my time in Benin. I absolutely love this country and its people. Every time I have to leave Lokossa, I miss it a lot and grow that much more attached to my community, house, dog, students, neighbors, etc. I was thinking about how if I had to leave next weekend I would be a complete mess. I hardly think I will be ready to leave in August or September. My time here has passed by very quick. Sometimes when I am in the classroom, when I am wondering around, looking over students’ shoulders to check their work, I think about how I’ve grown as a teacher. About how fortunate I was to be chosen for this job, for my town, and for my students. Don’t get me wrong, there are many times when I want to rip out my hair, walk out the door, insult students, or send them off to be punished. But overall, this has been so much fun and so rewarding.

I constantly think about where my students will end up. How will having had me as a teacher affect them? Will it have made any difference at all? Do they even care about English? Do they notice anything different about me besides the obvious, ie how I respect them as adults, how I am always on time, I am fair in grading, I am fair to both sexes, we can joke, I am not a harsh punisher, I smile, I grade quizzes and tests in a timely fashion….? It always makes me and my heart smile when I hear adults talk of a former PCV that was somehow in their life. I wonder will I be that to my kids…

I remember back to my first few nights in Benin when I could hardly believe I was breathing in African air. I as terrified at the prospect of living on my own. Of teaching English to 70 children in a classroom with little to no resources/materials. Of having to take moto-taxis around as my main transportation. Of taking taxis where there are six passengers + driver—in what is normally a 5 person car! Of eating pounded corn mush with goopy, slimy, fishy sauce. Of being away from my family and friends for over two whole years. I was essentially jealous of the volunteers who had been here a year. And even more jealous of the volunteers on their way out. For they already knew everything. They had experience, and I had none.

Now I don’t know if I can go back to living with roommates. To driving around in my own car! With a seatbelt and one seat per person at that. To eating whatever I want, whenever I want. To not being able to buy yummy fried food snacks on every corner. To speaking English. To have everyone understand what I say…that is going to be very weird (I’ll have to start watching what I say). To being cold!

I find that my time left here is almost too little. I have accomplished a lot. It breaks my heart to think about leaving my community where I have worked so hard to integrate. I have so much to do in so little time.

But all things must change. Nothing stays the same. I will appreciate the time I have left here. I will continue to teach and to learn. And I will look forward to coming home and to new adventures.

PS…I just thought of this idea this weekend, but I want to take Janvier and maybe a couple of other kids with me to Cotonou so that they can visit the art museum. I don’t know that they know an art museum in Benin, exists! I think that Janvier and Marcellin would especially enjoy it.